As the Devil's Holiday approaches again, I can't help but consider all the little shavers out there who'll be donning fuzzy costumes and hitting the streets soliciting candy. Nothing warms my heart more than little anklebiters plodding around in obnoxious costume, turning tricks if they don't get their treats. So innocent. So pure. Anyway, with the subject of mawkish costumes still on my mind, I started surfing ESPN's website to check the football scores. Looks like betting the celestial farm on a Nebraska/Notre Dame BCS Championship Game was a bad idea. My NCAA football gambling debt is reaching biblical proportions.
After punching my pillow and using my own name in vain, I collapsed in a cold sweat only to realize something completely random: Satan gets all the cool sports mascots. Devils, Blue Devils, Sun Devils, Green Devils, Blue Demons, Demon Deacons. Sure, I guess the good guys got the New Orleans Saints, but that just rubs salt in the wound.
So I guess, I just figured it's about time that JC got in on the action. If the devil, not to mention animals, insects, plants, inaminate objects, Native Americans, and nonsensical state nicknames can be mascots, so can your Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
I realize that the University of Something-or-Other Jesuses sounds a tad gay, but all you have to do is mix it up a little. Throw a snappy adjective in front of it: the Ragin' Saviors, Jumpin' Jesuses, and Thunderin' Christs are all acceptable.
C'mon, I created you in my image, the least you can do is cheer at a cartoonish likeness of me prowling the sidelines of your sporting events.
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