Another Nobel Peace Prize Snub For This Guy

So Barack Obama has won a Nobel Peace Prize as leader of a nation currently fighting two wars. Way to turn the other cheek, Barry. You totally deserve that Nobel Peace Prize and I'm not in any way being sarcastic. Seriously. I totally mean it.

Who am I to expect maybe at least one nomination for the Nobel Peace Prize in the last 100 years? I'm just the Prince of Peace after all. You know, love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hurt you. Ring any bells?

Sure, there's been everything from the Crusades to abortion clinic bombings done in my name, but that's not me, people. That's not my bag. I'm all about peace, love, mercy, and the occasional righteous anger (but as long as you aren't selling chickens in the temple you're probably cool).

And how can someone like Obama, a liberal socialist Nazi taxhiking babykiller, win an award for peace. That's like Glenn Beck finishing first in a critical think-off, or Pat Robertson snagging Master of Ceremonies at the Gay Pride Parade.

Sometimes you humans make no sense to me, and I swear, if I don't win a Peace Prize soon, I'll make Dad kill you all again in a Great Flood.