By now the whole world has heard about Balloon Boy, the precocious rascal who released his parents weird silvery weather balloon dealy and prompted an extensive air and ground search by Colorado authorities when it was believed he was inside.
Despite wars and rumors of wars, the entire world was spellbound as they followed along minute-by-minute on an aerial odyssey that basically amounted to watching a Jiffy Pop-shaped balloon float in the air for awhile, because you know what... the little fucker was hiding in the attic the whole time!I, of course, already knew this (omniscience comes in handy, if you have the means I highly suggest you try it). At first I was laughing my ass off at how stupid you humans can be, transfixed by cute things allegedly floating inside poofy, shiny things, but then I started getting a little riled up. I mean, I pulled the whole "missing kid" bit back when I was 12 and my family was traveling home from Jerusalem via caravan after the census. Mom and Joe didn't even know I was gone for three whole days and then they frantically return to find me schooling the scribes in the Temple. Booyah. A lot cooler than untying a cord and hiding in some stupid box like a pussy.
And this kid was thought to be ascending into the heavens. Real original, Balloon Boy. I wouldn't be surprised if Three Kings traveled afar bearing you gifts as an infant either.
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