I Wish There Was Some Way I Could Accept Brett Favre Into MY Heart

If I could, I would, people.

That's how great Brett Favre's performance last night against the Packers was. I mean, the guy turns 40 on Saturday yet he's out there throwing laser beams.

To put this in context, a third of the world literally worships me and I didn't even live to see 34, much less throw for 271 yards and three touchdowns a few days shy of 40. If anything, Favre and his rocket arm deserve more praise than even I am worthy of.

The best thing about Brett Favre is how much he loves the game. He's like a big kid out there, and you all know how I feel about children. The guy just loves to play football. Just like I love getting crucified for the salvation of mankind. It's in our blood.

Watching Favre come out of retirement again and again really inspires me to make my much rumored second coming, or at least to strap on the old crown of thorns and triumph over the devil yet again, even if I have to get my tail whipped by some Romans in the process.

So get off your knees all you Christians out there. I'm no longer going to refer to myself as the Savior of mankind. Based on last night's performance, I'm handing over that title to the gunslinger from Kiln, Mississippi.

I shall henceforth be the first prophet of Favrianity.