Larry David Can Pee On Me Any Day

On a recent episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm, a portrait of moi suffered splash-back from Larry David's urine, resulting in a joke about miraculous tears. Apparently, a bunch of Catholics are really up in arms about it.

Now I know Dad tends toward knee-jerk reactions about such things. You know, like the time he had bears eat a bunch of kids who poked fun at the Prophet Elisha's baldness.

But I'm much more laid back and, really, what's a little pee on my face in the grand scheme of things. Besides, I'm used to it. Whether it's a rendering of me submerged in an artist's own urine or just the guy next to me not wanting to lose his spot at a Phish concert, I've taken my share of golden showers.

I really think the Catholics have their undies in a twist over nothing here. A little splash-back, that's it. You do realize, Catholics, that your birth control-free wives have peed on about a three dozen pregnancy tests over the years, don't you? Those are the same hands that cook your dinner.

And Larry David created Seinfeld, a show about nothing. He made something out of nothing. Sound like someone familiar? He can pee on just about anybody he wants.

At least it's not that bastard Calvin. No discretion, that guy, pees on anything that moves.