Roman Polanski Didn't 'Covet-Covet'

Ever since Oscar-winning director and fugitive of justice Roman Polanski was arrested by Swiss authorities in Zurich on three-decades old charges of unlawful sex with a minor, Hollywood has been abuzz calling for Polanski's release. Whoopi Goldberg has been getting crucified for saying he didn't actually commit "rape-rape." Hollywood's elite have taken a lot of flak for their support of Polanski, so I thought it was about time for the Universe's elite (aka me) to jump into the fray.

Of course, rapists didn't make it onto the Ten Commandments' shit list (Dad was more concerned with graven-image-makers, parent-dishonorers, and Sabbath-forgetters). Adulterers and wife-coveters are the closest it gets, and close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades. So, I'll pull a "Whoopi" and say Polanski didn't exactly "covet-covet", unless the 13-year-old girl was somebody else's wife or a mule or something.

And let's face it, as long as you've accomplished something significant in your life, you can get away with a little rape now and then; like when you've just smote your enemies and it turns out their wives are hot. Polanski directed Chinatown, people! I say, at most, he pay his victim's father 50 pieces of silver, then marry her and call it a day.

Besides, we live in a different era now. Polanski's victim doesn't want him prosecuted, so why should I? And in today's society, with news anchors encouraging perpetual poultry fornication and reality dance shows showcasing bare vajayjays, it's a whole new ballgame.

I say just do whatever feels good and let Dad sort it out.