Hubble Way Too Close To My Bathroom

Seriously, NASA, back the fuck off!

It's all well and good that the Hubble telescope is discovering distant galaxies and Earth-like planets, and learning about parts of the universe that Dad is still tinkering with. In a way, I'm proud of you and your technological savvy. You've come a long way from trying to build a tower to reach heaven.

But I'd like to holy shit in peace without worrying about you Peeping Thomases spotting me on your mega-telescope.

I mean, you're posting images of the Eagle Nebula online now. That's right around the block from my pad. Next thing you know photos of me in the shower will pop up on the cover of the Best and Worst Beach Bodies issue of Star Magazine.

So do the Savior of your eternal soul a favor and give me a little privacy. You don't want me to sic Dad on you and have him confuse your languages again, do you?