Hate to break it to you, Earth, but the Teens aren't going to be your best decade ever.You thought the aughts were bad? You ain't seen nothing yet. Sure you had to endure terrorism, the Bush presidency, and Ryan Seacrest. But that's nothing compared to alien invasion, the Sarah Palin presidency, and more Ryan Seacrest.
So without further ado, here's just a sampler platter of what you have to look forward to:
2010 - Tunics make a comeback in a big way.
2010 - Lady Gaga performs at Grammys in jeans and a t-shirt.
2010 - Tea Party protestors succeed in their cries for the government to get their hands off Medicare, causing the 45-year old federal instituton to cease to exist.
2011 - Resurrected Saviors will replace werewolves in the next Twilight installment.
2012 - Sarah Palin loses the popular vote but is still elected President thanks to a perfect 10 in the swimsuit competition.
2012 - Mayan calendar comes to an end, John Cusack shits pants for no reason.
2013 - Jessica Simpson is romantically linked to Al Roker.
2014 - Tiger Woods comes out of the closet, admitting 2009 sex scandals were horribly orchestrated cover.
2015 - Susan Boyle defies world's judgmental expectations and wins Iditarod.
2016 - President Sarah Palin defeated by Arnold Schwarzenegger in Republican primary, but re-congeals into a silvery mass immediately afterward.
2017 - Global warming deniers provided with fodder when most of Ohio remains above water despite scientists predictions to the contrary.
2018 - Judd Apatow wins Best Director for remake of W.C. Fields classic The Bank Dick.
2019 - Brett Favre retires from NFL after 10 consecutive Super Bowl championships.
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