God Hates Figs

If I never see another fig in my life, it'll be too soon. Figs are the worst. An abomination even.

I mean, they taste like feet to begin with, and they look like hell. Then the one time I'm actually hungry enough to lower myself and try to pick a fig from the stupid fig tree, they're out of season.

Some may say I overreacted by cursing that piece of shit fig tree and dooming it to wither, I say that tree got what it had coming.